I finally let go of my fear and bent to God's wishes. I came to realize that this project would do so much to raise the voice and awareness for Pregnancy And Infant Loss (PAIL). Children lost during pregnancy and infancy are forgotten in society. When a baby's heart stops, people may remember the baby and their families for a small moment, but then they go about their lives and forget the baby existed. They forget that the baby left a grieving family who will love and miss their Angel every moment for the rest of their lives.
What makes the forgetting even worse, is that once a baby passes away, their families are not allowed to grieve and talk about their lost babies. Dead babies is too much of a taboo subject that it is not appropriate to talk about with others. Society sets limits on what they think is an appropriate way and an appropriate time limit for our grief. Especially if the baby is lost during early pregnancy, society tells us that the baby didn't live long enough (IF the baby was living at all) for us to bond or make an impact in our lives and hearts. We need to stop loving and missing our babies and move on. We can't talk about or grieve because it makes society uncomfortable to be reminded that we lost a baby.
I made a post on a PAIL support forum I belong to and told them about this project. The response and support was overwhelming to me!!! So many families BEGGED me to add their Angel(s) to the quilt so they would always be remembered and they would have a voice. Here is the post I made to the PAIL Support board on July 29, 2014:
I have spent the past 5 hours talking myself out of doing this project that popped into my head but I STILL can not get it out. I really think it is God's way of telling me He wants and needs me to do this project. SOOOOO I guess I better just do the project and hope it all works out.
Since I lost Little Man and Rain, I have thought about all of the other Angels I have known who were Pregnancy And Infant Loss. I have been wracking my brain trying to think of what I can to help the cause. I have an urgant desire to speak up and out out PAIL and have come up with several ideas. The idea that came to me in the wee hours this morning is to make a memorial quilt with all of the names of the PAIL Angels I can collect. My mind and heart desires that one day it will be as large and as well known as the AIDS quilt that was started many years ago. I have NO IDEA how this project is going to be a success, but I feel like this quilt needs to be done by me and ALL of us.
Here is a list of information I would like. I would like as much of this information as you know and are willing to share :)
1. the names of your Angel(s) if you named them. If not, that is perfectly fine. I can just put #Angels
2. If you know if they were boys or girls. If not, that is also perfectly fine.
3. Important date(s)
4. gestational age and/or living age of your Angel(s)
5.the cause for the loss. If you don't know the reason, you can just say miscarried, still born, ect.
6. Any other information, picture. quotes or messages you want writen on the square?
7. Is there any theme, print or colors you want the square to have?
Spread the word out about this quilt and help me gather names!!1 Also, if you would like to donate fabric or other supplies for this project that would be appreciated. Also, you are more then welcome to make your own square for your Angel(s) and send them to me.
PS: I have seen several Signitures that mention other losses (especially really early losses) but are not included in the names and information you give me. I will be more then happy to add those losses to the square also. ALL losses, no matter how early, should be recognized, honored and remembered!!! If you don't know the sex and/or name, that is just fine. I can just write the number of Angels and/or dates and how far along you were.
