Why does being an Angel Mother still define who I am???

In 4 weeks from today, we celebrate Little Man's 2nd Angelversary.  It is hard to believe it has been 2 years since he left us.  Sometimes it feels like the 2 years has flown by.  Other times, it feels like he has been gone forever. I think about my journey of the past 2 years and how my life has changed and most importantly how I have changed.

I wonder if our children would be proud of me?  It feels like I think of them way too often and still miss them way too much.  My life revolves around me being a mother to 4 Angels.  If someone were to ask me what is the one thing that is defining you right now, I know I would say being a mother to 4 children I never got to hold.  I KNOW I am more then that, but it is just so hard to see past the aching in my heart and the emptiness of my arms.

I am happy.  I have moved past the tears stage where I just want to cry and do all I can to get my children back.  I am past the depressed 'I want to hide' stage.  I have dealt and overcome the painful 'I can't be around pregnant women and babies and children' (I do have to admit I still have moments when it hurts to be around them).  I can think about all my children and smile.  Why then, can't I move past that I lost my children????   Why does being an Angel mother still define who I am????