Capture Your Grief 2016- Day #7 MYTHS!!!

Today we are to talk about some myths society may have when it comes to losing a pregnancy or baby.

YOUR BABY WASN'T ALIVE- So many people believe that if a baby didn't live outside of the womb or even didn't live a certain number of days, then your baby wasn't really alive.

FALSE!!!! Most Loss families believe the moment that the mother finds out they are pregnant, that baby is alive and real. Also a baby's heart starts beating 18 days after conception. I don't know how someone can say a baby isn't really alive when they see and hear the heartbeat of their baby. I even got to see and hear Heidi's heartbeat at 5weeks2days.

YOU NEVER GOT TO BOND WITH THE BABY- People base how much you love something by how long you have it with you.

FALSE!!!! Like I said in the above myth, parents become parents with that first positive pregnancy test.  You fall in love with that baby instantly. You start making plans for the future with that child in it.  We may not have time, but we bond because of the love and the dreams we have for that child.

YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER BABY- People assume that just because you became pregnant with that baby, then you can definitely become pregnant again.

FALSE!!!! MANY women can not become pregnant after loss.  Some losses cause 2nd infertility problems.  Many losses are from couples who spent MANY years trying to get pregnant with the baby they lost.  Others can get pregnant very easily (like me) but they have something wrong that doesn't allow them to keep the baby (like me) (I have a uterine deformity that does not allow a baby to grow to viable age). Just because a woman became pregnant once, doesn't mean they can have another one, especially when a loss is involved.

YOU CAN REPLACE THAT CHILD BY HAVING ANOTHER ONE- A hole in someone's life, family and love can be fixed by putting someone else in there

FALSE!!!! The hole that the child left will ALWAYS be there.  No one or no thing will EVER be able to fill it, especially not another child.  Each child brings to the family their own individual personality and the love their family has for them.  The personality and love of the the lost child will always be missing.  Could you ever replace one of your living children????

THERE IS A TIME LIMIT FOR GRIEVING!!! SOOOOO many people give time limits for grief.  People think that others should just get over it because it happened such and such time ago.

FALSE!!!! Just like the love for that lost child will continue to for the rest of that parents life, so will the grief, the missing, the unfulfilled dreams you had.  Time DOES make things better but a parent will never stop thinking about or stop loving that child.

DON'T TALK ABOUT THE BABY- People assume that Loss families don't like to talk about their lost child(ren).  They think they will bring up too painful memories.  Also they assume that Loss families want to forget about their child.

FALSE!!!! Many (NOT all) families LOVE talking about their children (like me).  Like all parents, we love and are proud of our children.  We want to share them with others like other parents do.  We want others to ask us about them. We want others to listen to us as we talk about them.  We had dreams and plans of their future. We still do (they just can't be fulfilled by the child(ren)) WHY CAN'T WE BE ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT OUR CHILDREN???😞😭

Those are just a few of the biggest myths about loss that I can think of.  I'm sure I will think of more (and add them ) later.

Thank-you all again SOOO MUCH for supporting something that is so important!!!

#captureyourgrief #captureyourgrief2016 #captureyourgrief2016day7 #whathealsyou #carleymarieproject